ahhh eric and Grit; I just made an appt with my C. I need to talk to him about the dating service stuff. That just took all the wind out of my sails. The vision, the thought of my H kissing or having intimate relations with some stranger who he hopes to connect with and have the children he thinks he wants..it just makes me want to run away and never come back.
If he keeps going like he is, there will be no way to reconcile. He will end up getting someone pg, or find one who is a "fatal attraction" or who knows. This is just a bad bad thing.
I found a program on our computer he had downloaded. It is a picture software thing. I'm sure he's using it to upload pics of himself for these online dating things. He just did it last Saturday.
So you all suggest letting him file for the D huh? Uggh..just the thought of living with him under the same roof knowing he is deceiving me and then pretending to be this nice guy..he can't even look me in the eyes anymore. Yesterday I could tell he was feeling guilty about something. It's because he's going to meet someone this week, under the pretense of traveling for work. My C is not pro-cheater..so he will advise me to file today, I'm sure.
Honestly, I don't know HOW to GAL..I have done most of the stuff you all suggest and I'm still thinking about him and what he's doing to me.
eric..he dropped the bomb first part of Nov 2009. He asked me not to tell anyone so that when we figured it all out it would stay between us. I let that go until mid Jan 2010 when I found the credit card statement and saw that he had been seeing her every weekend and that he really wasn't trying to be alone to figure things out..he had moved out so that he could see her w/o having to deal with me about it. I was so mad that I told my son that day when we went to the movie. He then asked me to tell his sisters so he could have someone to talk to about it. He was in shock..(like me) that his step-dad could do something like this. So I told my daughters and they all texted/emailed my H to offer their support. They told him they still loved him and wanted it to work between us. Pretty classy if you ask me. My H then told his Daughter cuz he didn't want anyone else to tell her. I don't know what his family is thinking with all of this bcuz they have totally removed me from their lives. None of them have contacted me. I don't know what he has told them, other than the fact that he showed his mom the ONE letter where I said some harsh things. I'm sure she told the rest of his family and they all hate me now.
I'm just dejected today. Honestly, I know you all tell me he is sick, but it's hard to believe that when he is doing these things that hurt so much.
How would all of you suggest I "act" now? Because it will be an act at first. It will become real after doing it for awhile, but in the beginning it will be an act. So.. pleasant, distant, never home when he is, chatty, quiet, complimentary, do things together or find other stuff to do by myself or with someone else, do his laundry or just let his stuff sit in the hamper with no explanation, make food for both of us in the evening when he's here or just for myself, watch TV with him at night or go to my room, no texting, talking about R?? please guide me in this. I'm not sure what to do.
