Sorry I could not help myself, especially after missing Friday's party...
Quote:
Wax, likker, tunes and free flowin' booze
Wax and lick her....sorry can someone tell me where the party is? Sorry I had to....
Hey Missher - thanks for you comments on my thread dude. I am going to create a new thread called Little Friday...so everyone please chime in with your drink and music choice for this upcoming little Friday. Missher I think you really started something with little Friday. Stay tune for the new thread.
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Okay since we got all the wax and likker in its rightful place, thanks Eric...I will do a little update.
I think I overdosed on my W over the weekend, I have done this before and paid the price. Yesterday driving down to FLA. with the kids was hard and so was the evening at my mom's. The pain was "bearable" (nickel Eric) the pain is familiar, I know it and I know it does not last.
Today is a new day and I am on vacation with the kids so I am going to take off here in a minute.
My W texted me this morning, I thought she would want to talk to the kids, not so.....just wanted to find out how S10 (formerly S9) enjoyed his birthday and what we did. We texted back and forth about the kids getting older and changing. She said she would talk to them later, and wished me a good day as I did to her in return.
Just notating that I can count on one hand the number of times we have communicated and it was initiated by her and it was not to talk to the kids or facilitate their pick up or drop off. It felt good and it was nice just to have a little conversation with her.
Formerly "missherlove"
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
[quote]I have done this before and paid the price.[/qupte]
I know I don't have to remind you what Einstein says about the definition of insanity..
Okay...you paid the price today BUT tomorrow is another day. Hell a few mintues after you paid the price is a new time period, which I KNOW you know that you can control and shape.
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
I know I'm still new at this... but I don't think it was that bad. You didn't look *back* at her You just simply looked at her--where she is right now.
Neither one of you is ready yet... BUT I don't think it's such a bad thing to actually take a look at your spouse.
Not to look for a sign, or for change--just to look at them.
The way we look at ourselves--with compassion and understanding.
Thats what I got from it, anyhow.
formerly known as "shelbel" Me 40, stbxh 40 DSs 9, 7 & 3 M9, T10 Stbxh is a diagnosed bipolar & an addict. The end.
I am having another one of those harder days. I can only sum it up by saying, "I miss my W". Nothing else, just real simple, I have not seen her nor spoken with her since last Monday, July 5 when she dropped D13 off in the morning before me and the kids left on vacation. We texted briefly on Tuesday but otherthan that we have not communicated at all. We usually talk every other day about the kids or something and I see her usually 2-3 times a week.
I am not thinking about the future, the past, loss of M, or anything.... just missing her. I realize I have not really given her the chance to "miss" me through all this. I am going to continue to not initiate any contact and and see how long it goes.
I did get out of the house today to catch up with our best friends that live behind us. Was talking to them and apparently last Monday after me and the kids left for FLA, my W and her 25 year old roommate came over to the neighborhood pool to hang out. Is my wife in reconnection??? Order of reconnection is kids, family, friends, then spouse....don't know just an observation that she is somewhat comfortable coming over to the neighborhood pool.
Our best friend Ann (not real name) talked to my W for a while but could not really talk b/c 25 yr roomie was there. W shared that she is looking for a better job and wants to get a place of her own. Also, Ann found out that 25 yr old roomie is moving by the end of July. I told Ann it would be great if she could reconnect with my W. Maybe go out to lunch, shopping, whatever.
The other thing that my W shared with Ann that Ann found puzzling or at least a distortion of the truth is that my W said that things were going great with D13. My W told Ann that "She knew D13 would eventually come around if she waited long enough". Ann wanted to say, but did not "Didn't missherlove ask D13 to contact you?" Ann just shook her head and smiled.
Ann is worried about me, and we talk about once a week and she misses my W and us as a couple, really is sad. They are starting to understand/accept that I am standing for my M.
The only other thing going on is that I am supposed to be taking the kids this coming weekend to see MIL and her husband, (MIL remarried). MIL is supportive of me and wants our M to survive and work, but has stopped pressuring my W b/c my W will shut her out. MIL has told my W before she is making a mistake.
The only snag here is that this is supposed to be W's weekend with the kids. I had asked my W last week after church, if she wanted to come along as a family. She said no. Well, unknown to me D13 asked her that night and my W told D13 that "It wouldn't be a good idea" (love that one, right up there with ILYBNILWY.) I get that sometimes too.
Well later in the week, my W texted D13 to ask her if she wanted to come to Nana's lake house with her and S10. D13 said "no" she has already made plans to go with me and S10 but W is welcome to come and join us. W told her "not a good idea again". I guess W is okay with kids going with me to see her mother, normally a very good time. Pics on the alt from last year, granted it was 2 weeks after the Bomb but still fun.
D13 now wants Mom and Dad to get back together which was a change from earlier when D13 had told me she did not want us to get back together.
Right now I am planning on taking the kids to Nana's lake house for a long weekend and since I have not heard from my W, I confirmed via email with MIL. I am not going to ask MIL if she has talked with my W. I am going to "act as if" everything is okay and assume that W does not have a problem with it. I would like it very much if my W would go, hope she changes her mind. (no expectations here, different from hope IMO)
D13 was just talking to me and said she was going to ask mom again about next weekend. I cautioned D13 about developing expectations. D13 said mom might be "planning a trip out of town" (code for she is going to meet an OM) I told D13 we don't know that and don't jump to conclusions for which you have no basis for. I think D13 might start to press my W on somethings, I want to make sure that I do not encourage my D13 to say anything to W so hopefully W does not preceive that I am using D13 to press her about our R. I know I have no control on this otherthan what I do or say around the kids.
Oh yeah, I will probably be on the road on "little friday" so may have to get a surrogate stand-in, and text from the road.
Cheers!!!
Formerly "missherlove"
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
Hey DW!!! Good weekend, coming off vacation last week and got home on Saturday, and hung out at the pool with friends. Sunday was a little rough but bearable, still have those days every now and then.
How are the kids? Did you have them over the 4th?
Formerly "missherlove"
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
MSH, the kids are doing good, a little confusion now and then but overall they seem happy. I did not have them over the 4th, which was tough, but I had a lot going on so I made it through it.
I updated my post (its been awhile) and could use some of your positive feedback.
