QS it is very common for the WS to snoop on the LBS.
Cheating on your spouse for months on end builds up a lot of paranoia in them :
a. They are out of your loop so they need to find out what's going on in your life b. They don't want you to know they are curious what's going on cause they "are done" supposedly c. They lie left right and center and simply don't trust anyone after living a life of lies for that long. They start to see everyone as being as untrustworthy as they are
This is more of that behaviour of hers she doens't want you to know about much like the crying. She is interested, but she has a wall up when you are there is all. She's in pain and miserable and her solution is to do what she's doing as an escape.. It's pathetic and destructive and won't help in the long run... But she won't admit that to anyone.. Even if show knows it too...
As long as they keep "running" they won't feel that pain, they will have a boost from it. But they will be damaging themself and others. Men will take advantage of a "runner", in hopes to get their sex.
However while she's on her "run" she may bump heads with other women. If she's getting real hard headed in this game, other women can be the ones to bring her down. Remember, many men will be happy to man-bash another man, or to try to get their shot with your wife.
It's interesting QS... When you feel like you have the upper hand you appear to have this in the bag, but when your wife appears to have the upper hand you fall apart...
The ONLY way I have seen to effectively fight for a marriage is to be in mindset where you fight because you want the marriage, not because you need it.
When you have the upper hand like this you are in the want mindset... you have to keep it there.
Your marriage can go either way right now.. and YOU need to be OK with that...
If you get to a point where you can say, it could go either way for me and I am OK with it going either way... I am fighting because that's what I want, not because I am terrified of the alternative.
QS, if there is a divorce, you look at the direction you are headed right now and the direction your wife is headed... who do you think has the upper hand long term?
Do you really think your wife is the one who is going to live a good long healthy life with her attitudes?
Your wife is pursuing a sleaze ball who is going to drop her like a stone at the first chance he gets, your wife is completely ignorant about commitment, marriage, and even how to show the slightest respect to her partner in a crisis, and when things get diffiucult she throws gasoline on her house when it sets ablaze instead of putting the crisis out.
You are learning to love inconditionally. You have maintained respect not only for your family and friends but her family as well. You have a home you are improving and enjoy, you have women who would gladly trade places with your wife when you are in a place where you are ready for that...
You have the upper hand QS, you always did, and as long as you stand up for yourself while doing everything you can to preserve your wife's dignity in the process you will always have the upper hand...
Remember that the next time she rages at you...
He's probably telling his friends that she's one of the wifes hes boinking. I'm sure he has a few single ladies in his stable too. She needs to drop by uninvited. Does she really prefer to be part of someone's "stable" than to be your wife?
He sent me a massage saying how little he respected me.
He then sent her a message saying not to contact her ANYMORE.
However, it really hit the fan as far as she is concerned. I came home today and she was packed. She informed me that she was moving out and we can either sell the house this month, or she was getting an apartment. She already has a place picked out. She informed me that she will no longer sleep here either.
HER PARENTS will HELP her out financially with the apartment, and she says that they are completely disgusted with me and want nothing to do with me.
I know not to believe that, but I STOOD MY GROUND and DID NOT SHOW EMOTION.
I am just wondering what happens next?
Me - 32 Her -30 Married - 7 Years Together - 9 Years No Kids 05/21 - Bomb 6/8 - Exposed 7/9 - Re-Exposed 06/11 - She Filed
QS: As hard as it is not to, you can't worry about that. You have to focus on YOUR actions and plans...not hers. As long as you have been loving as well as tough, you've done the right thing, which is what any self-respecting man would do. (But do make sure the love AND tough are there.)
He sent me a massage saying how little he respected me.
He then sent her a message saying not to contact her ANYMORE.
However, it really hit the fan as far as she is concerned. I came home today and she was packed. She informed me that she was moving out and we can either sell the house this month, or she was getting an apartment. She already has a place picked out. She informed me that she will no longer sleep here either.
HER PARENTS will HELP her out financially with the apartment, and she says that they are completely disgusted with me and want nothing to do with me.
I know not to believe that, but I STOOD MY GROUND and DID NOT SHOW EMOTION.
I am just wondering what happens next?
DB'er - you did great. Its not done yet. Don't get sucked into the drama and handle your business. Right now the business is taking care of yourself, and closure of the business you started. I'd send the parents a letter explaining what you did and why, possibly send some of the evidence to show that it wasn't your imagination and you did what any man should trying to save his family.
On the other things read some of the 'robx' postings. You have to take care of your physical and mental health. I'd be in the gym, playing ball and I'd taken up a martial art and put in a minimum of 6 months in something that will prove to be useful in a street style environment.
GAL hard like a beast, your in bachelor mode. Your wife will come to her senses later, because if the other guy has any sense he's going to push her away. So she's on her own. At the moment it looks like she was using you for "cake" and the other guy was the real prize.
You be the prize. I want to see what other people have to say about this.
Well she also said "If not him the someone else. I am not going to live like a maid the rest of the Summer".
Classy. She keeps saying that it's over, it's over ect.
I am VERY worried that if she gets her own place that she is going to be sleeping with other guys.
Dude, she was going to do it anyway. She's in single lady mode, I don't think you are going to pop her out of it. What you can do instead of even thinking about her is to put yourself into bachelor mode, with the passion of a beast.
