...i know deep down what i need to do, but am not ready for it(something instinctively tells me not yet, why, i don't know; it's for the kids' sake).
i know she's not going to change, and when i get the courage up once again to discuss this matter, i have to defintively turn around and pack my things when she says her usual "if you don't like it, there's the door" line. that has been said for years, and i just get all nervous and say that's not what i want, and start apologizing for bringing the subject up, as she walks away "with my head in her hand."
MWD in her discussion on 180's had a great perspective that you might want to consider adopting. It goes something like if what you are doing is not working, try something dramatically different. Sort of like Monte Python's "...and now for something completely different."
Trying to work things out for your children is an honorable and reasonable thing to do. However, you have to have a willing partner. Getting your partner to recognize that there is a problelm and getting then to want to improve things are huge hurdles and under the control of your partner. However, giving your wife a chance is still a good thing.
Your statement about not being ready because of your children is probably how you feel and you should listen to that.
Again, you might want to read up on 180's and on setting boundaries. Take time to GAL and maybe in a way that involves you children. Summer is a great time for bicyle rids, backpacking trips, and other outdoor exercise things that you and your kids might enjoy, where you could invite your wife and/or still go if she doesn't want to.
Good luck to you.
>43 years of marriage--My wife and I are now closer than we have been in decades. I believe that my SSM is over.
