Quote: The first step in correcting the problem is identifying it. Good job. Try to make a mental note to yourself next time that you don't have to go into protect mode. Choose your battles. Plan now for how you'll handle a similar situation in the future.
This is something I really have to work on, I did it again yesterday. H said he didn't sleep very well that night because our son was sleeping with him. So what do I say? Not oh that's too bad, but you should have let son sleep on the floor. I catch it after I do it!! Arggh..this is a well entrenched habit of mine, goes WAY back, so it's going to take some time and some exploring of ME to get to the root of it and to determine if I still need to protect myself (emotionally) from H and from other people, too.
Quote: Try not to send mixed signals to your SS by saying you're working on the R, but also calling your H names.
Yes, I agree, will have to watch myself from now on for the most part I have been doing quite well and try to change the subject. I say it lightheartedly and then laugh..but I REALLY need to not make my H out as the bad guy. You're right SS is very perceptive..amazingly so for his age.
Quote: I think you're doing a good job of deflecting the snipes, and not personalizing them. Keep up the good work.
I think you're right I am getting a handle on this. After I left my friends yesterday, H called me. Wanted to know once again, why I had to go to her house, I was looking at scrapbooking stuff I told him again, H said why? I said I was getting ideas. I told him all of this before I left. I asked if S was sleeping, H ignored my question, and asked again why I went over there. I then changed the subject and said "I can't believe it's almost 60 degrees out" and then said I'll be there in about 20 minutes. H said okay, good bye.
"Keep up the good work"--CHL you sound like my boss. However, I will take the compliment as no one has ever said that to me about my R!! Thank you!
