taylor, I know its rough, but these guys are right on. I am a newbie with all of this and see alot of simularities with my/your sitch. I have been waking up everyday with this on my head since October. What you are experiencing is someone who is not rational. This is the alien everyone mentions. I am looking at two weeks from now a divorce day that I would have bet everything I have would never happen 3+ years ago. But looking back I can see the stuff starting about 2 years ago. Please let him do all the work of the divorce because if you help it in anyway, they feel even more justified that they are doing the right thing. Let them file and let them spin and let them rant. Trick is, to be the best you can be for yourself. I did not see any of that at first, but it takes time for us LBS'rs to comprehend what is really going on. My wife is in a constant panic that she is growing older and I know she is not the woman I fell in love with right now. At this point though, I am seeing parts of her return. The Doc says this will happen but they pull back too. That gets tough too. I wonder like you, how long is this going to take? The Doc says God and my wife are the only ones who know. I could tell you things that would make your head spin from what I have seen so far. I read once on one of these boards that it is way, way, better to be the LBS. You will see that in time too. I want my (real) wife back too. She has to go through this journey that makes no sense to me. As painful as it has been for me, I can see the pain she is going through now and it will get worse for her in the near future. IF, she bottoms out, then I will have been the night in shining armor all along. At that point it will be up to me if I want to take her back or not. If I do, it won't be instantaneous. I will need to build some trust again and want to be with her as well. I don't know if this helps but I sure feel your pain when I read your posts.
