1. No, he has not been tested. I will talk to him tonight about that. The OW has been married for 15 years, we have for 10 so the odds are good that STDs aren't a problem. However I totally understand the risks and was tested myself on Friday.
2. I feel great afterward. He's the one who has regrets and doubts, not me. I think we established our expectations before the actual act - him saying this doesn't change things, me telling him I understand that and would still like to go forward.
3. I go into it thinking this will feel good and maybe it will bring us closer, but if not, at least it is fun for now.
And yes Sunny, your question is exactly my question. How does he see me during this? I'm pretty sure I don't seem desperate or like a door mat, as I'm the one reassuring him afterward that it was just fun and not to assign to much meaning to it. I guess I'm hoping to throw more confusion into his mind, like how can he want so desperately to be with me physically and yet still want a divorce? Confusion is GOOD, right?
