I agree here. The thing is, people sometimes mistake anger for being "tough" (playing hardball) when anger is just a form of manipulation, which is trying to make the wayward spouse fall back in line. I don't think that's what you are doing, CD, but people fall in that trap sometimes when they go from being the doormat that's begging/pleading to going hardball. The pendulum needs to swing right in the middle of loving and tough.
