In retrospect, I suppose civil was the wrong word.

Not sure what the right word is.

I suppose the best analogy is actually more to do the DB'ing and SBT.

She initiated the whole thing by doing something:
She announced the possibility of D.
My action (and I also stupidly talked about it) was to begin reading up on marriage and learning how it went bad and how to repair us.
Her next action was to pursue the EA
I got into DB softball
She crossed over into PA
I'm joining the DB Hardball team.

Simple Solution Based Therapy.
Less talk. More ACTION.