It's 2 a.m. and I can't sleep. I guess I should give in and take a sleeping pill AGAIN so that I can fall asleep.
I've been reading and reading..so many stories and many worse than mine. I am going to pray for all of us tonight. I guess i should be glad we don't have young children that have to deal with this too. His family has no idea of what he is going thru. The MCLers do a good job of faking it around friends and family.
Some of these folks have been going thru this with their spouses for several years. Some have not been intimate for years. Years!! I just don't know if I can handle that. Man, life is short. And then to imagine that it might not even work out after going thru all this..I just don't know if i want to do it.
It was bad enough when I thought he had had the A because he "fell in love with HER". But now to find out that he is seeking out other women on dating websites. He travels 2-4 days a week for work, and tells me that he isn't screwing women when he's on the road and that he's not like other cheaters because the one time he did have an A, it was because he developed feelings for this OW. He's such a lier. I would be willing to bet he has had numerous one night stands and maybe has a woman in every town he goes to. That's probably why he didn't want me to see his phone..because all those women are calling him.
I'll do what you guys suggest for awhile and see what happens. I was pleasant today, but I think he knew something was wrong..he was very nice and talkative to me. I laughed and joked around and made supper, etc. But I think I'm going to stop doing his laundry, stop making meals, stop going places with him on weekends..just stop. I'll start going to my kids' many hours away, get a job, take some classes, read, spend time outside gardening when he's home, stop talking about the R, stop flirting with him, just stay away as much as possible. I really just want to move out and get away from him. He makes me sick to my stomach.
