Did their mom know how to change a light bulb before she left? And this is the same person you left in charge of the kids when you were putting your life on the line.
And you are the dad, a father. And your kids' welfare comes first. However based on a court agreement it is her right to accept or reject your assistance if offered. It is her decision if she chooses to ask for your help.
What can you do as a concerned parent if she cuts you off?
You have that handy dandy online legal site where everything is documented.
You have kids who know how to use the phone. And are old enough and aware enough to speak up to her and/or you if they have concerns.
Sharing my experience was not showing my maternal skill-set. It's just that you manage as best you can. If she consistently shows an inability to sufficiently care for her children, document it. If she is unwilling to accept your assistance while in a drugged state, document it. If you truly feel your children are at risk, remove them from the danger and worry about the consequences later.
But you're a smart guy. You already know all that.
Your love and care for your children resonates in all your actions. But at the core.. it's like it seems that you try to control your divorcing spouse through helping without being asked. By assuming that you know her needs based on the prior relationship shared as husband and wife.
It hurts to be rejected, especially for something that is at the core of your being. Giving with love. Taking care of things.
And however I try to bumble through this.. it's where it seems that the downfall is. When you're exceptionally nurturing and caring to her, she thanks you.. then turns around and thwacks you upside the head with a red hot iron skillet.
And it's painful to be on the sideline as a parent.
