I am hoping you are a poker player SG, becuase that is what's going on here... She has called the hand and tonight you will be RAISING her and she is not likely expecting that...
DO NOT threten divorce, that's NOT the adult way to do this... always try to be the adult here to set an example...
You show her you mean business, even if you are scared shitless..
She may put on a brave show and issue threats or ultimatums.. you go back to the script
"Running around behind my back instead of seeing a proper professional family therapist with me isn't constructive... He's meddling and interfering... No marriage can survive that kind of violation in secret or be repaired under those circumstances..."
"He goes right now, or you do... I won't file for D on you, but I won't allow disrespect like this in our home... I won't ask you to tolerate something like that, and I expect the same maturity from you..."
"Bye for now"
ANd you get OUT of the convo... Go make some phone calls and wait for her to pack... If she doens't start you start for her...
