SA- Thank you. You ask about H's family....it's his sister he went to visit with OW. I considered her & her H my family...known them for 37 years...spent lots of time together....took vacations together...took care of her kids when they were small
All I got was one phone call from my SIL, right after the bomb...when I couldn't do much talking...just cried. Said that she will call me again...but never did. I already mentioned SIL is a therapist...and H was getting therapy from her. H told me that she didn't give him advice or told him what to do....just listened to him.
I was kind of shocked when I found out that H is taking OW there...it seemed like another betrayal...by his sister as well....She is his blood, his only sibling and will support him no matter what...she may not agree with it, but she will not take a stand.
As a therapist, SIL should see right through them...see how nutty they both are....
Otherwise all is quiet here...D told me that dad has been trying to Facebook her and text her...but that she is not replying....I asked why and she said that he always picks weird time to text...and then she forgets to reply....
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Thank you CW & SA - I had a good weekend. Well had to work some, the deadline is this week...also did some gardening, cut the grass (yuk) cleaned the pool...you know the weekly chores. But had some nice time on Saturday...played tennis with my friend and the went over to her place for a glass of wine (only one...driving)and some nibbles...chatted until midnight.
My FIL called me, he is taking this so hard...he still can't believe that my H would do this, said that he tries not to think about it because it upsets him too much and affects his heart condition.
He just can't comprehend how H could do this to me and to D...after so many years of happiness. He said I can see how an affair could happen in marriage....but to leave your marriage, for it????
I told him (gently) my side of the story, absolutely not blaming husband, just information of what happened in the past year. He was also "fishing" to see if it was me that told H to leave because of the affair...I said no, I wanted to work through it...this was H's choice. Asked me if I think this is final. I said that I don't know...H seems to behave that way.
FIL knew that H is in Europe, but didn't know it was with OW...he was shocked.
I also found out that H told FIL that OW & her Husband and kids are moving back to this city. I know for a fact that her H has no intention leaving his job and moving. So is that the big plan? They are hoping that H is eventually going to move back here with the kids? What if he doesn't? Is she going to move here anyway...and leave her kids 1,000 miles away? Just nutty....
My FIL also said that he doesn't want to loose a son over this....letting me know that no matter how much he may disapprove, H is still his son and he loves him...He told me that he just wishes that we could all come to dinner as we always did...that he will miss that....I'll miss it too.
Told him that I will come and see him with D after I come back from visiting my mom.
OK back to work
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
I feel so bad for your FIL. It's too bad he has to deal with this in his twilight years. You can hear how much pain this causes him.
He obviously thinks the world of you.
How wonderful for you to tell him you'll bring D to visit when you get back from seeing your Mom. It'll give him something to look forward to and brighten his days.
I'm sorry that I have been neglecting everyone here, not posting that much lately. Just life got really hectic....running business by myself and have lots of things to organize and do before I go away in a week. I will catch up soon, I promise.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Please do not apologize for not being here. You have a life to live...and yes, lots to do between now and the end of the week. Enjoy your time away.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Hi Mila...not being on here much is a good thing! Hope you are doing good!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Thank you Snodderly & Kissak....thanks for making me feel better for not being here for my friends right now....I'll be back.
I'm very very busy....but I'm also "taking a test drive" of living my life without being dependent on the DB boards...And you guys were my life line for months...from the time I woke up to late late at night...I've spent endless hours in here looking for hope and answers.
I'm doing pretty good now....mind you, H is away with OW...that makes things better....I don't have to deal with him and there are no nasty surprises for these 2 weeks and then I'll be away for 2 weeks.....so it's like a month of mental vacation for me....healing time....processing time.
Had dinner with an old GF last night, we reconnected on FB ....she went through a horrible divorce few years back....and it almost destroyed her...she resorted to substance abuse to cope and was in really rough shape for a while. It was great to see her now...how much she grew as a person, how she caged her demons, cleaned up and blossomed into a lovely, wise and happy lady...what a wonderful transformation....she credits God for pulling her through...I credit HER for saving herself...with God's help.
(((hugs to all)))
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Thanks for sharing the story about your GF. It's encouraging to hear about someone that picked themselves up, dusted off and made a new life for themselves.
