I wish I had something useful to say. Alls I can add is, "Listen to Allen!"
Thanks for your support.
M34 W35 S5 S2 T10 M6 on/off over the years including her A Recently- Nov 2015 bomb Nov 2015-Feb 2016 Reconciling Feb bomb March-April Reconciling May - bomb Mid-May I tell her I'm done
He works in a small retail setting. He is friends with management.
M34 W35 S5 S2 T10 M6 on/off over the years including her A Recently- Nov 2015 bomb Nov 2015-Feb 2016 Reconciling Feb bomb March-April Reconciling May - bomb Mid-May I tell her I'm done
Here's a question that's been going through my head while working on the script. (sure am getting hungry... when's dinner? LOL. Glad I'm almost smiling for a minute today.)
My FT advised not to out her to family and friends. She said it'd be incredibly embarassing and that it's something that should be kept between the two of us. She said it would make such a rift in our "relationship" that it'd be very difficult to recover from. Is my FT nuts? Or does she have a valid point?
M34 W35 S5 S2 T10 M6 on/off over the years including her A Recently- Nov 2015 bomb Nov 2015-Feb 2016 Reconciling Feb bomb March-April Reconciling May - bomb Mid-May I tell her I'm done
I'll have to come up with some more ideas of how to make it rain...
M34 W35 S5 S2 T10 M6 on/off over the years including her A Recently- Nov 2015 bomb Nov 2015-Feb 2016 Reconciling Feb bomb March-April Reconciling May - bomb Mid-May I tell her I'm done
Here's a question that's been going through my head while working on the script. (sure am getting hungry... when's dinner? LOL. Glad I'm almost smiling for a minute today.)
My FT advised not to out her to family and friends. She said it'd be incredibly embarassing and that it's something that should be kept between the two of us. She said it would make such a rift in our "relationship" that it'd be very difficult to recover from. Is my FT nuts? Or does she have a valid point?
Definitely good to smile!!!
As for the FT... What is her stance on treating infidelity? If she's more of the softball approach type, she may not be the best in helping you deal with this. (Not if you intend to play hardball!) Allen can be more help here, but not all FT are the same or have the same philosophy on treating affairs. As Allen says, the hardball ones know it is an addiction. What does she suggest you do instead?
There are two camps on infidleity : Hardball and Softball... Most experts in infidelity that I have read are in hardball and treat infidelity as an addiction... Your WIfe's is just starting up so its not that bad yet... but if you play hardball here you run the risk of it going into full on sexual affair wtih all the sleazy details that go with it.
I was in your situation 3.5 years ago.. I learned only two weeks in when it had jsut started as an EA.. I decided to go softball... THREE YEARS later after a sleazy sexual affair had run its coruse and OM tossed her away I had a mess to clean up with her...
You will find MANY PEOPLE on this forum who went softball initially because they were AFRAID that going hardball would drive their spouse away.
In my experience and research going softball and keeping the affair a secret ALLOWS the AFFAIR to THRIVE
If your FT is NOT experienced with infidleity then why woudl you take their advice?
Their focus is on the damage it does AFTER she's ended it... I am telling you if you DON'T press her to end it exposure is the LEAST o the damage worries you will have to deal with...
Can you fight for your marriage wile your wife is mounting OM in some cheap hotel someplace and laughing at you when you see him on the street?
That's the direction this is headed if you don't find those raisins your wife's hid away in the bedroom closet and put them back in your pants where they belong.
You have been warned. I disagree with the FT, as to many experts in infidelity... Keeping it a secret is EXACTLY what THEY WANT you TO DO
There are two camps on infidleity : Hardball and Softball... Most experts in infidelity that I have read are in hardball and treat infidelity as an addiction... Your WIfe's is just starting up so its not that bad yet... but if you play hardball here you run the risk of it going into full on sexual affair wtih all the sleazy details that go with it.
Maybe I missed something through my reading... how is going hardball now going to risk pushing it to a full on sexual affair (if it isn't there already...)?
M34 W35 S5 S2 T10 M6 on/off over the years including her A Recently- Nov 2015 bomb Nov 2015-Feb 2016 Reconciling Feb bomb March-April Reconciling May - bomb Mid-May I tell her I'm done
