Exposed finally,,limbo land

[Optimust]

Horrible 4th. Started out ok, went down and played golf with FIL, he and his wife love W but are not happy with her activities, and warned her about finances and our DD’s. Golf went fine, little talk of W and I, just to be careful and protect myself and DD’s. W left on the 3rd about 8 pm and did not return.

Left to go home and get D14 and take both to a friend’s at a lake property, but weather was to aweful, so D14 suggested going to local street/firework festival with a friend of her’s and D8 and me at same event(not with her tho, to embarrassing to be with dad), then abruptly changed her mind. She was at W house just up the street from ours, and I went up and found OM car in the garage. D14 knew who’s it was. Still didn’t want to go with me and D8. We left and 20 minutes later she is TM ‘can mom pick us up’, ‘to go where?’, no answer. W then calls and says she is going to pick her up and take her to OM friends place. I ask, then I ask firmer, then I warn, then I plead for her not to do this, because it will mess up D14 badly, she does it anyways. She drops D14 and her friend at my house at 11 pm, and goes to her place with OM. D14 spends night at my house under duress, and when I take D8 to swimming in the morning at 11, she goes to W’s, and OM is still there!

We are going to have a talk tonight about this, and she will probably serve me. If not, I’m half tempted to ask for the papers. Everything I have read says that it is very very wrong for her to have D14 anywhere around OM and A. I can’t fathom here thinking on this. OM is a drug to her, she will put everything at risk to be around him.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

It's not just wrong, it's unconscionable.

Have you done a background check on this guy? Taking your kids of ANY age around an OM is grossly irresponsible for at LEAST six months; a pubescent girl being around this PREDATOR is so wrong it's not even fathomable.

Puppy

[Optimust]

If you guys have links to any good websites that explain this, please let me know.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

that explain WHAT?

You can run a backround check at intelius-dot-com.

Puppy

[Optimust]

Explain the damage that this causes a child, by being in contact with OM at this point. Psychologist type things. Sorry. I did the background already, and nothing came up.

[Optimust]

She told D8 that if D8 does not try to get us back together, she will not make her do something she doesn't like to do, forever.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Sick.

[Optimust]

Ya, I know. I was floored, almost got in car accident when D8 told me, had her repeat it to make sure I heard it right also. It deals with W's BF, so I might be able to use it as leverage, except her BF is not liking our entire family right now.

[Optimust]

Been a wild weekend. My days off vary, so W plans her time with OM when I’m with girls on days off. This week it fell on Sat and Sun, which are perfect for her because he gets weekends off. So she disappeared on Fri about 4, with no plans to contact DD’s or I until Monday morning.

That’s when things went south. D14 went to community outdoor movie night with friends, and was staying the night at one of their houses per W and D14 TM. I got home after midnight(movie with bro) with D8(babysat by my bro’s sitter til then), and went by W’s place(just up the street) to double check a bad feeling. Her bedroom lights were on, and I know she was 40 miles away. Figured D14 came back with GF and spent the night there, when she should’ve come home, not to W’s.

Waited til morning, TM W for door code to check it out because D14 didn’t answer phone or door. After 2 hours of W waiting for D14 to call back, I get code. Guess what, D14, GF, and 3 boys all there and obviously overnight. Took all I had not to slaughter someone. Sent boys walking home, called W - who was also floored, and took D14’s GF home. Told D14 big consequences when W gets home(so I’m not bad guy again).

BUT,,,2-3 hours later, just chatting up D14 about general stuff and she starts bashing W. She says she doesn’t like separation, cause money is tight, can’t eat out much, can’t shop much, etc. But the big one was, “I never get to spend time with mom, she spends every minute of her free time with friend(s)(and she means OM).” AND,,,"Mom told me it was OK to have all of them spend the night, but she will deny it, like I asked it and she didn't hear it. She's going to lie to you. She said it has something to do with custody." So I will wait for W to hear this and make W set consequences.

Then 30 minutes later in the car, she completely breaks down about everything, and I try to console as best I can without bashing W. D14 seems to be internally bashing her pretty good right now. I talked to W’s best GF who is extremely impartial when it comes to both DD’s, all she wants is to help DD’s, weather it hurts or helps W, so I hooked her up with D14, so hopefully D14 can get some stuff off her chest that she can’t with W and I.

[Allen A]

Yup.. And Wayward spouses always say the kids will be fine...

Your D14 sounds fine ... Just fine...