CD, I think we all pretty much, in hindsight, know things we could've done better in our M's that if we'd paid more attention, things possibly would've not gotten to this point. Don't beat yourself up over the that. The thing is, your W was responsible for that as well! My FT hit that point hard with me this past week. I am 50% responsible for this R and the state it is in. H is also 50% responsible as is your W! DON'T beat yourself up over this! YOU are the one willing to repair it and do the hard work, W chose to go outside the marriage and there is NO excuse for that...no matter what!
It's not just men: I used the word blindsided too. It's only natural your W appears to be done. They ALL appear to be done at this juncture.
(But good attitude you have about the future, whether with W or someone else.)
