What I recognize from what Gardener wrote is that, in my case, there can be no "other" because I can never repeat what I had with my wife. I will never again be a young man with 2/3 of my life ahead of me. I will never raise children with someone else, all those times are ours and I can never repeat them with someone else. Yes, someone else may come along but our R and experiences will be much different. I guess that's neither good nor bad, it just is.
