Your attitude makes you appear to be the perfect mix of brains and beauty, so don't be surprised if you're sought after by people who might not normally give you a second glance. The time is right for action, not talk -- someone who wants to stay at home and have a discussion rather than get out and really live their life is not the right person for you to be with. You can't wait to get something started, and although you know you will probably move on before the grand finale, you imagine it will be spectacular.
It sounds like there were some positives from last night.
And it seems like you handled the less than positive areas like a champ!
You certainly handled the picture thing very well. I don't think I would have been able to do that. I would have said that I don't want anything in this house that OW had a hand in. But that would not be an action that would move closer to goal. Good for you to take the high road.
Was there any progress on a solution to the bedtime issue that you two can work on together?
Quote: I would have said that I don't want anything in this house that OW had a hand in
I almost DID say those exact words, but somehow turned it around to say how nice the pictures all looked. Afterwards, I thought well if we do D, then S would have them either way plus more!! OW did it for H though, not for S, "oh isn't OW nice for doing that" is I'm sure what H thought.
The bedtime thing didn't get brought up. There really wasn't a good time since SS19 was there up until S3 went to bed. H layed with S, H fell asleep so I had to go in and get H up, it was almost 10:30 and I wanted to go to bed. When H got up to leave, he was grumpy so there really wasn't a good time to talk.
I'll wait till it comes up next time. I'm just as frustrated as H is about the bedtime thing too.
I was reading through my old posts, feeling really good about how I handled H right after H moved back and then ended up at OW's less than a week later. I think by doing a 180, not freak'n out and yelling, that this maybe the turning point in our sitch. KAW and T2 voiced these words to me at the time, but now I'm feeling the words.
Quote by Cathy:
Quote: it'll be too late by then as if my H gets this desparate to make all these changes I don't believe that he would be able to follow through, he hasn't up until now, nor for any other relationship he's been in.
Did I sayy that?? (Erkyl) I did put this in a post when I was ranting about H not coming home after H had moved back a few weeks ago.
And it looks like my dance card is full for TG. I will try to check in and post to you sometime on TG. I never would have believed that H would be coming, guess I was wrong ,I like being wrong in this case!
Deb, I am so very happy for you and this is how it should happen...not showing up in the middle of the night with most of your belongings. What a bunch of hooey that was
What a mess. I told people H moved back, haven't told people H moved out again..can't decide what to do now. It's my own fault, I thought by telling people it would keep him home, silly me I should have known better. How pathetic and desparate was that.
Right now I'm detached, I'm done pursuing, I'm just going day to day with my friend, my H, who is living in Limboland, in the city of denial.
Friday night, when H went back to his hometown to hunt, everyone gets together to eat out. Well two of the spouses are freinds of mine and both were surprised that I didn't come up to hunt for one thing, H told them I didn't have a gun and didn't decide to the last minute to hunt (which is true) and now I have no idea what to tell them. They will both be pissed as hell that H left again and I really don't want to have to deal with it or have to explain anything to anyone anymore.
I'm happy, that's the important thing I think, and I am doing fine. I'm sitting back and waiting for the R with OW to fall apart, how long that will take I don't know. I'm okay though. H might stay with OW, I have no idea what H will do. I have to take care of ME and S, I am putting the focus on us for now.
ARGHHH!!!! H just called, first words out of his mouth are: so have you hired a lawyer yet? I said no. H said when are you going to? Are you going to keep the house, what are you going to do? H said "it's your divorce" then said "divorce #3"..
So if it's my divorce then why would it be divorce #3? I've only been married once.
I then said you get one, I'm not getting one. You get one and get it going. I said we go through this every Monday. And WE do, what is up with this!!! Every F'in Monday!!
Saturday he called me from his hunting stand to talk, didn't say anything except to answer my questions, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no...I said I'll call you tonight.
I didn't call him Saturday night becasue S fell asleep early. H calls me Sunday night on his way back from hunting to see why I didn't call H back on on Saturday night. We talked, H is coming over for dinner tonight. It was SS's B-day on Saturday so I'm making dinner for him. I asked H last night if H was coming and H said yes.
I cannot stand these Monday calls...he did try calling this morning, but I didn't answer it, so fool that I am picked it up now!!! It's the same crapp every fricking Monday. Then he goes on to ask "what's new in my life" at which point I said I have to go my boss needs me.
I'm at work, I can't talk, we're in cubicles, everybody can hear everything and I've told H this before. I guess tonight I'm going to have to ask him not to call me at work anymore. I will do it lovingly, but I just cannot deal with these calls anymore.
Arghhhhhhhhh!!!!
I just don't understand why we have to go through this every Monday. Is H trying to drve me nuts!! Why does he say this stuff. We have perfectly normal conversations every other day of the week except Monday's. H then asked me if I was hunting, I said probably, H said you should have went today. I asked H if it was windy at his job, H said yes it was and "I f****** hate it!!" My H hates his job and his life I think.
Any advice words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated. Right before H called I was thinking how nice it would be to not have to EVER deal with H again. To just have H out of my life. It felt good, too.
Now tonight he'll be civil and everything will be fine and probably for the rest of the week.
Afterwards, I thought well if we do D, then S would have them either way plus more!! OW did it for H though, not for S, "oh isn't OW nice for doing that" is I'm sure what H thought.