New here, not sure where to start

[Truegritter]

Maybe I'm having tunnel vision, but I don't see how I can win here, w/o pulling the plug and getting out of here.

You don't see how you can win because you are losing

... yourself.

You are still focusing on H.

When you detach and stop snooping and wondering what he is doing you will stop these helpless feelings that you had over the weekend.

The only one you can control is YOU.

So why worry what H is looking up on the computer?

He could decide he wants to date a blue kangaroo...

There is a diiference between moving on and moving forward.

No one here is going to tell you whether to stay in your M or leave...

That is up to you.

What I will tell you is that IMO you are still in a place of crisis and making a decision like that while you are is probably not the best course.

That is why we have been telling you to take care of you and focus on you NOT H.

You will get out of ths sh!tstorm you are in and begin to think clearly and heal.

Then you can focus on your own growth.

It is a leap of faith of sorts to believe what we are telling you.

It is a process and a journey.

You will realize and learn the mosty amazing things.

One of the best things is that you control all of this because you choose how to let it affect you.

You are only a victim of H if you choose to be.

If believe you are a victim you are...

And

How dumb and I?

Only as much as you believe yourself to be.

If you keep going down this path focusing on your H

... I may begin to agree with you.