Irish, I hear what you're saying. I am reacting to him. And it's killing me. Up and down. My brother says I need to make a decision to make a decision..not let him call all the shots.
I used to worry about him in the sense that he is so screwed up he needs me to help him..blahblahblah. Now I'm starting to worry about him in the sense of what he is going to do to hurt me when he decides to move on with her or someone else. Just yesterday he told me he still wants more kids. I can't have them anymore. It seems to be over except for the D. And I'm sure that's not far down the road. That's what makes me want to pull the plug and just get it over with.
You all have suggested getting a job, taking some classes, finding some friends, not talking about the R with him, letting him work thru this by himself. That's all fine if he wants to pay the bills, the house payment, etc. I can't afford this house by myself no matter what I do. So if he quits his job, we will have to sell the house and he has said he just wants to take some time off and work on his degree. I suggested that I get a job with health insc, and we could use some of the savings to pay the bills until the house is sold and we decide where we want to move. But he doesn't seem to be planning to move ahead with me or he'd be talking about where do "we" want to move, and asking me to look for jobs there, or him looking for jobs there. He has told me he has been looking for jobs..first I heard of that..I am guessing he's looking where she lives. So he can just quit, move with her and have a flunky job to give him some spending money and she will take care of the rest. I'll be left here with a gigantic house, no income and no one around to help with anything. We have things that need to be done to the house before it goes up for sale.
Maybe I'm having tunnel vision, but I don't see how I can win here, w/o pulling the plug and getting out of here.
