Irish..thanks for your post. I really need all the help I can get. I know that I am reacting to what he's doing. It feels to me, that in order to stop that, I need to just be done with this whole thing. What I mean is this: I don't know about the legalities of what might happen if he says he's done and wants a D. If that happens, I would need to make some major life adjustments for myself and am not prepared to do that right now. So I need to get prepared..which means taking classes to get back into the job market after not working for 5 years, packing my stuff, selling the house, finding a place to live, a job to support myself, etc. I know everyone says that I need to take this one day at a time, and not to think so much about the future, but i don't know how I can NOT do that.
It seems to me that in order for me to stop reacting to his stuff, I need to make some decisions for myself and protect myself. Financially, mentally, etc. In order to protect myself financially you all have recommended putting money into my own account..that would be like drawing First Blood in his book. He wouldn't see it as protection, he'd see it as me starting to move toward a D and then all hell would break loose. He'd stop my access to his accounts, which is where all the money is. I don't work.
He had asked me several months ago if I had seen an atty..I said yes, just to see what could possibly happen to me because he holds all the cards. I told him that I didn't know what he and OW were planning and I could get left high and dry. Of course he said he'd never do that to me, but then I didn't think he'd do any of this stuff to me either..so I don't trust anythign he does or says anymore. Anyway, he then went to see an atty too. That was several months ago and he has since moved back, but now I'm wondering if it is to make himself look batter if the D does come about..you know..like he really tried to reconcile.
This is a mess. I need to be prepared and I don't know how to do that without starting a war...or at the very least without making things move toward a D.
