I think it's OK to let go

[par4me]

I agree with you Timeheals, why change for the one person in the world that doesn't give a damn about you. It is good to work on yourself and get your mind off you current problem. But the idea of changing yourself to be better to the one that already dislikes you rubs me the wrong way. If I was the problem then i would need to change. When the WA is the screwed up one that you just have to find someone better. Heck, I can't do any worse than what i already had. I am still hurt and confused but I will be better in the long run. I still have the thoughts of the good memories and i just don't think of the bad stuff. I wonder why? It is stupid mind games that just make me feel bad.

[DanF]

Hey TH,

Just wanted to drop by to say hi and thank you for all of your posts on my thread. I'm doing the best I can to follow everyone's advice, but it can really be tough at times. My W filed about a month ago, which was when I really first started DBing. At least that is when I found the website and started trying to detach. I have been doing 180's since January 3rd, but it hasn't made any difference. She was already gone by then.

You wouldn't take your W back at this point if she wanted to work on things? I haven't gotten to that point yet.

Anyway, it is good to see you hanging in there and you are right, once your D is final and you start to network, I think you will have a LOT of fun. On of my D'd friends recommends that E-H website for meeting people. I may have to try that eventually. He says it helps keep out the rifraff.

My Hearing for a Temporary Order is coming-up on Tuesday. Tells us how everything will be handled between now and when the D is final. I wish my W didn't want anything, but we are likely going to end-up fighting over the placement of the kids. Child support and Alimony payments are starting to look daunting. Not looking forward to this at all. All of our standards of living will be going down soon, and I fear dramatically. I still can't believe this is what she really wants and I think she will eventually regret it, but who knows.......

Hang in there buddy, better times appear to be just around the corner for you.

[TimeHeals]

Hang in there buddy, better times appear to be just around the corner for you.

I know this, but today I am feeling... well... just tired of BS in general.

I guess I could lie and say everything was always aweful, but things weren't always aweful. It wasn't pure bliss, and the last 8 months of our M were a living Hell. That's about the truth of it.

And I could lie and say I am completely over it (sometimes I am sure I am), but sometimes... sometimes... I am a little bit angry when I let myself think about all the hearts that broke: our families', my dogs', and mine.

I suppose I should be grateful that I am only the single-father of two dogs and don't have kids that have been abandoned as well. Yippe!

Time for some B-vitamins and a light workout. That should break this funk.

[TulsaTime]

You doin' good TH. Keep moving forward.

[TimeHeals]

Journaling:

Low, gray cloud covered sky. Very high humidity today. Feels like being inside of a terrarium.

Debating the morning dog walk because of possible rain, but that hopeful, deep stare of the oldest dog is making me think the daily walk has to happen. Maybe I will just try not to get too far from the house in case it starts to pour.

Heck, it might be a little fun to get caught in a down pour with two avoid-water-like-it-is-kryptonite dogs

[par4me]

A walk in the rain does sound nice.

[ltaylor]

TH,
i was just writing about how sick I am of all the BS too. You get to a point where you're just tired and frustrated and want it to be over..want to think some happy thoughts..want to be happy again.

And the moods that the LBS go thru..today I'm a little mad, and very frustrated and feel like crying my heart out. But I'm a girl so you probably have more restraint when it comes to that.

I have 3 dogs and know how easy it is to love them and treat them like your children. They are the best when it comes to unconditional love, aren't they? You're lucky to have them at this time in your life. I had my baby grandson to help me focus on other stuff too.

Hang in there and know that we are thinking about you and saying some prayers for a happy ending for you.

I need to stop reading all these stories cuz the people I pray for each night is getting really long!!!

[TimeHeals]

Hang in there and know that we are thinking about you and saying some prayers for a happy ending for you.

I appreciate the prayers, and my prayer list has grown fairly long too. I spend a lot of time praying for a lot of folks on this board who I have never even met


I can honestly say, having gone through this ordeal, that I don't ever want to be in a M again with somebody who doesn't have it in them to fight for the M at least as much as I was willing to fight for my M. I will never second guess myself on this because I don't think ANYBODY deserves less.

I am at the point where I KNOW that I am better off alone than chasing somebody who won't fight for me, our M, and our families.

[gucci loafer]

I am at the point where I KNOW that I am better off alone than chasing somebody who won't fight for me, our M, and our families.

Pretty hard for someone to fight for you if they haven't lost you or at least wonder if they have. Fighting for something usually means that the something they are fighting for is possibly out of reach and may be lost or not in their total power to have at will.

[TimeHeals]

Pretty hard for someone to fight for you if they haven't lost you or at least wonder if they have. Fighting for something usually means that the something they are fighting for is possibly out of reach and may be lost or not in their total power to have at will.

Pretty hard to see what you meant to accomplish with this comment.

In my case, the divorce is final in weeks, and at any rate any number of horrible circumstances could befall any one of us at any minute, and it takes strength to weather some of these storms. Nothing is in our total power to have at will.