Well I'm glad to see that what I wanted to talk to him about tonight is top on your list - the divorce. We are scheduled to meet with the Friend of the Court on Tuesday to make decisions about custody, child support and spousal support. I was planning on approaching him along these lines:
"I don't feel that either of us are in the position right now to be making informed, rational decisions about the rest of our lives. I know my feelings change from day to day, sometimes minute to minute and I am uncomfortable making decisions about our kids and our future finances at this time. I'd like to put the divorce on hold right now while we work out our emotions regarding the affair and our relationship. Once we are both thinking more clearly we can make a decision together about divorce or reconciliation."
I think if he will agree to that then I will definitely try and figure out exactly what is or is not a threat in the workplace. If nothing else, I also plan on asking him if he is willing to work with me in discussing some of the mechanics of the affair (when, where, how long, etc.) while leaving the why and the feelings out of it for now. That's based on the books I'm reading that the whys need to wait until we are feeling a bit more safe with each other. Right now I'm afraid anything I say to him will be used against me in a court of law, and I'm pretty sure he feels the same way.
