WHY DO WE DO IT?

[navajo]

I am still feeling my way around this board so don't know if I should just stick with one thread for different topics or if I should start another thread.

I have gone as dark as I can with 2 kids and the bankruptcy stuff going on. NO initiated contact from my end except business like emails about child stuff or appointments etc. When she comes over, I go outside and work in the garden or find an excuse to leave again. Not letting her hug me and keeping my answers to any of her questions short and friendly.

But here is where I am stuck. The friend she is living with is definitely enabling her and coaching her (I believe), as well as the fact that she has been passing messages back and forth for my wife and the OM since the beginning!!! and has her ear all day and night. I feel there is absolutely no hope for me to be able to work this out with her as long as she is getting ALL of her needs met by the OM and her friend. Is it hopeless?

I know that I cannot tell her any of this and I also know that if I mention (again) that I don't think her friend has her best interests in mind, it'll just drive her farther away.

Yes, I know that this is all about working on myself and becoming a better person and I honestly am. The house has NEVER looked this clean, I have lost 17 lbs and am way more active that I used to be. Spending lots of time out with the kids (always did that anyway) and am working on becoming more outgoing and sociable in the world.

I really am not sure that I have a specific question at this point, just hurting a bit today and wondering if there is even any hope of her coming back due to her current sitch.

*SIGH*

Tom