I did read your other post - and I am so grateful. I keep re-reading the stages of MLC and LBS / trying to remind myself that the feelings I am having are to be expected for the circumstances. It helps me to remember to maintain a compassionate and respectful heart. That is how I want to be remembered.
It's a quiet Friday night and there are more moments lately that I am embracing the peace. I am more willing to admit how emotionally exhausted I truly am. Also,reflecting on the MLC stages - I'm not sure if my H is in replay, depression, or withdrawal - he shows signs of each phase. But what I am sure of is that I have been fighting a silent or invisible enemy for several years now and it has taken its toll on me. My resilience and strength is seriously reduced. I know that I am not a total doormat - but I have lost any boundaries I might have tried to have in place for myself. I desperately need to find myself and determine how I will respond to this challenge. I want my kids to be proud of me and I want to be proud of myself when there is resolution.
Thanks again for your support.
IrishBlessings, I am feeling and striving for the same things you are. We WILL get through this. I am right here on this journey with you, as so many others are. (((Irish...)))
M: 34 WAH: 38 (in MLC) Together: 11 years Married since: November 2000 DS: 15 DS: 11 DS: 10 ILYBINILWY: Dec. 2009 Living separately since: April 2010
