Quote: There is a blance between giving them the time to think and space, but if we don't respect ourselves and our own thoughts, how in the world will they ever do the same?
This hit home, as today I am struggling, I want to be able to share MY thoughts and feelings with my H. I would like to be able to share MY FEELINGS when H says the only reason you want me back is because "you're lonely" and because "I got left" and my favorite "you asked me to leave"
Can I do this? Will it make H feel GUILTY and go back into his TUNNEL.
My response to "you're lonely" would be:
H I'm not lonely, for the first time in a long time I am not lonely. If I was really that lonely don't you think I would have found somebody else to take your place by now? Aren't there enough lonely people out there that I could have found at least one person to fill that void by now, if I was really lonely?
In answer to the "I got left" and "I told you to leave"
I didn’t get left, you left me. I know I told you to leave. If I would have said go jump off a bridge instead of telling you to leave then what I’m hearing is that you would have done that? If anything I shouldn’t want you back--because you left ME. You left ME long before I TOLD you to leave. I said the words you didn’t say the words, you didn’t say to me that you were going go out and have an affair, yes I hear you when you say “it just happened” but you didn’t tell ME that you had found someone else that you were seeing someone else until after everything was in motion. You knew OW, you talked to OW, you went to her house, you did things with OW and you did all of this without telling me. I told you to leave because from where I stood you had already made your choice long before you TOLD me about OW. AND, you could have chose not to leave.
I want to be honest with my H from this day forward. If we are to treat each like friends, then friends can be honest with each other can't they? I don't want to say things to make H feel guilty, I'm not saying them to make H feel guilty, I just want H to know how I FEEL and to RESPECT me for being honest as he has been honest with ME.
