Help - Is H coming Around?

[ShellDoll]

OW is not married. She worked for him. She is 40, lives in a nearby city, has a 17 yr old son who just got out of a juvenile detention facility. He told me initially when I found out that she was just af friend, someon he could talk to and she was experiencing issues with finding a permanent place to live as her son was coming home and the judge told her that before he could be released, she needed to find a permanent home (apparently she moved a lot).

My H told he just wanted to help. But I was dealing at the time with repressed memories of childhood sexual abuse. I was so angry because here I needed him and he wanted to help her find a place to live.

I found email messages (on his BB) between H and the OW that were inappropriate for a supervisor/worker relationship. I confronted him an told him that I was going to contact his boss because these tantalizing emails were being exchanged ona government email server. THIS IS BIG NO NO for anyone who works in the Fed Government. I told him that he could lose his job and so could she.

He began to cry and asked me how I could do that to anyone? That he and she could lose their jobs but that we would feel obligated to take of her!! WTF!!!

I was so angry... this lead to many sleepless nights up to his leaving our home.

He had several issues (and I did too dealing with my childhood abuse - where I just recently told my Mother):

1) Prideful/Successful man who transitioned into job where he had no previous skill set - became a poor performer (after being on top for years)
2) Turning 50 old soon
3) Very little friends - really only 1 friend (had a desire to seek more male relationships)
4) Gained 25 lbs. Blamed me and my cooking for this....
5) Wanted to exercise, but blamed me because I didn't want to run all the time with him
6) Lost interest in his hobbies - stopped the carpentry work, yard work, - felt he needed more and reinvested in golfing more... (with the OW)
7) Doubted/doubts that I would have ever been interested in anything fun he wanted to pursue - But never gave me the chance because he NEVER tolk to me about this concerns with how he was feeling - (But he talked/shared with OW)