Heartbroken and needing help!

[irishblessings]

Thanks Twiglet and Snodderly -
Last night was one of the first that I didn't hear from X at all / no checking in on S and such. I am still getting used to the oddity of it all. Thanks goodness I have had my S and his teammates around so much - cooking for a bunch of 16 year old boys has been a pleasure - they make me laugh. Did their laundry, made them breakfast - but I still get sad that H is not here / not just for me but for the boys to have a role model - a standard of a united family. Believe me, I know that kids turn out fine all the time from split homes - it's just that I believe from the bottom of my heart that when kids have both parents together at home - and truly together as partners in the work - then they have a much better chance of weathering this storm in their own lives. I miss sharing these times with H.

OK - I will keep moving forward. I am proud of myself that I didn't text or call H.

Snodderly - your descriptions are perfect and I need to get used to the fact that there are some things in life that cannot be explained or reasoned. It is what it is - he is what he is. I, however, can change:)