Irish, Grace has given you some ideas about getting out of the house a bit. Going out for the evening isn't giving up....it's about living and being part of the world around you. You need this interaction to help you regain your inner strength.
As to whether your h is a WAS or a MLCer, they both tend to have some of the same traits. It doesn't matter at this point becuase you would do the same thing that you are doing now, i.e., ensuring that your finances are in order, taking care of yourself and your family.
When we come here for the very first time, we are attempting to figure out what is wrong w/them and whether or not it's a crisis. It's okay, it's human nature to try to fix things. A large majority of posters are "fixers" and one of the hardest lessons to learn is that we cannot fix everything, especially our spouses. They are the ones that have to make the mistakes and learn that happiness can only be found within and not some outside source. Sometimes they realize their mistakes and want to return to us. Other times, they realize their mistakes too late and we have moved on and do not want to reconcile w/them. Some will never admit their mistakes and live out their lives in misery and make everyone else miserable around them, especially if they are in another relationship.
What do we do? We have to go on w/our lives as if they are never coming back. We have to live our lives to the fullest and come to understand that we didn't break them, therefore we can't fix them. The "fix" must be made by them and them only. Being a fixer, it is very difficult to step back and watch them make one mistake after the other but you have to do it.
Irish, you are going to be okay. You will find your balance in time. But the most important thing is to take care of yourself, i.e., plenty of sleep, exercise and eat three square meals a day. Be kind to yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
