Sandi, by "giving up", I meant becoming indifferent about the situation and not trying to stop their phone contact anymore, not pursuing the civil stalking injunction on OM, and just deciding to accept the divorce if she brings me the papers. I did this because W has not budged from her position for a year now and still has the same attitude (or worse) towards me even though I mostly leave her alone now.
OM called ME several times in desperation yesterday and today because W didn't want to talk with him. After I vented on him a bit about "thanks for ruining my life, etc.", he begged for me to put her on the phone, which normally I would have refused, but since I didn't care anymore with the impending divorce, I offered the phone to her and she refused! He has tried calling about twenty times today and yesterday. And W is telling me everything that is going on!
She told me about a day when OM went to her work and begged her for 5 and a half hours to say she wanted him to stay and not move (like he promised me). She finally said ok and he bought another house here and made arrangements to stay.
OMW told me in church today that OM was kicking her out of the house this coming week. But now after W's fight with OM, I doubt that will happen. OM offered to pay for OUR divorce and she refused because then she would feel obligated to marry him and she's not sure that's what she wants. When he kept insisting, that's when she started to get mad at him. I heard her YELLING very loud at him on the phone.
I believe she has been having doubts about his character lately. She is now telling me that he is a liar and a manipulator (like I told her from the very beginning). But I told her that I am glad she is finally seeing it. She is now complaining about things that he did way back at the beginning of their relationship (which I have never seen her do till today). She even did a background search on him yesterday, saying it was to prove to me that he is not a danger to our kids like I implied, but didn't find out anything she didn't already know.
Today, she said she doesn't want to have anything to do with him and if I see her going back to him to please "bind me up or smack me over the head with a two-by-four!" I'm just waiting to see what W does now. I think she will still file for divorce in a day or two. She says, "I don't want you and I don't want him!" I just find it interesting that now that I have become so indifferent, that it appears they are really breaking it off this time.
My wife is asking for a divorce and I don't completely understand why.
