Pretty sure its a MLC, now what?

[MHL]

I want to explain more to him, but I think the DB thing to do would be to just let him go and process this latest development, right? Its hard to just let this go. And, to be honest, I am a little hurt that he could start moving forward so quickly after I left.

lala,
Great job!!!! letting him process what you said.

Being hurt.....time to detatch and remember this maxim...."believe nothing he says".

He is doing anything but moving forward. If he really took a moment and thought things through really all the way to the end. He might be rethinking his actions.

I explained that while I was glad I came up here because it gave me time to think, I realized that my life is in Cincinnati, and that I do not expect anything from him upon my return. That is pretty much where we left it.

This is good but just want to make sure he fully expects to support his D in the form of child support and support for you until you find employement. Even at that point you would be entitled to alimony given "his" decision to leave. Other than those "expectations" yes you have no expectations of him emotionally. Don't let him off the hook.

He does need to figure out that financially he is not escaping his responsibilities by separating or divorcing. On the otherhand it will be far more draining than to stick with the M and work it out. You don't need to tell him this, let him figure it out on his own.

He brought up me moving back home and said that he feels like he has whiplash because he had been working on getting used to the idea of me being gone and what to do with the house, finances, etc. and now he is thrown off and wants to make sure I'm coming back for me and not for him.

This is good time to validate his feelings while at the same time letting him know that he is going to have to do a little more homework on figuring out the consequences of his choices.

You could say if he brings this up again....

H, I understand your feelings of "whiplash" with regards to me deciding to come back to "our" home with "our" D. As I said before I was overacting to an emotionally charged moment and I have had time to clear my thoughts. I feel it is important for "our" D to grow up in "our" home.

Let him figure out the finances. Meanwhile you are looking for a job and that is great.

If when you return home he wants to continue to come over and do things then I would let him and again nuture the friendship but do not have any expectations.

When you are frustrated come here to vent. If you feel yourself getting upset or angry with him then politely excuse yourself and go somewhere else to deal with you emotions. Do not become your emotions and resist the temptation to initiate R talks unless he is ready to talk about reconciliation and even then you would proceed with caution.

Keep us updated, your doing great!!!