Husband's behavior is confusing

[pearlharbr]

I agree with Puppy, it's a good idea for you to move out since H is acting this way. Best to remove yourself from the situation and let him feel what it'll be like to be D.

As to what he should tell people about not hanging out with OW anymore...agree with Greek. He chose the actions so he chose the consequences. It's up to him to figure this stuff out on his own. If he resumes any type of R with OW and crosses your boundary then what are the consequences?

You can't control H's behavior, you can control your own.