need to hear from those who disagree with my chosen approach so I can see the potential pitfalls. Please don't hesitate to make your point. I understand that we all have the same goal here and will not be offended by anything you have to offer.
What you would say if I told you God led me to tell you that you may be mistaken on how he wants you to handle this? As a Christian I hope you are aware that Satan tries to disguise himself as God to us so that he can lead us in the wrong direction. It is easy to get mislead. I can't count the number of people on this site that I have heard and seen talk about "unconditional" love, when in fact it is nothing more than being a doormat. Unconditional love sometimes requires "toughness and strength" and letting them go (as the Prodigal Son's father did)if that is their choice.
There is a thread on here about "letting go".. please read it.
Just today we had another newcomer on here. Read his story. The link is below. If you observe the reality of what happened in this new story, you will observe that HE was the Wayward spouse initially. He was having an affair. He told his betrayed spouse that he didn't love her the way he should anymore...
This would then make HER the betrayed spouse. Which is what you are in your situation. So, let's analyze what she did as the betrayed spouse..
SHE whined and cried the first three weeks or there abouts. After 3 weeks NOTICE what she did (remember SHE was the BS)
SHE unexpectedly moved out. Many on here are told not to move out. However, notice that SHE moved out. NOTICE and observe what has happened to HIM (the WS)after she got tough and moved unexpectedly and suddenly changed her plan of action. (SHE LET HIM GO) He would have kept cake eating for as long as she was going to let him. There is no denying.. It was HER letting go and moving out and letting him wonder if he had GONE TOO FAR that woke him up. No other explanation. THAT is what happened. I have seen this happen again and again in my lifetime. The ones who let go find out that suddenly the Wayward is chasing THEM. They would have NEVER believed it if I had told them that would happpen. However it IS what could very well happen when the spoused gets tough. Read the rest of this site and you will see very few successes without the "letting go" part being in the mix. Study that.
Now he wants back. Suddenly he loves her more than life itself. Suddenly he says he is the best husband material in the universe. Suddenly he loves her and her children more than life itself. Suddenly he is as happy as ever and is no longer depressed...
Here is the link... Notice that it seems that she is ALSO a Christian. Think long and hard about the path you are choosing here. I haven't seen that path work very much. The percentages of doing it that way are slim. Very slim. Much better chances for the ones who get tough.
