It's Saturday and a weird day for me. When I reflect back on the week it seems like H is acting more like his old self - acting nicer, not as distant. I know I still have intel to collect but frankly, I don't feel very suspicious because he is not behaving like a man involved outside the M anymore. He has come straight home after work - been asking the boys to run with him. (I would bike along but I've been puking the last 2 days. Will definitely do it if welcomed once I feel better!) On the other hand, he still is pretty guarded with the cellphone and still spends a lot of time on the XBox (not as much though). He has not been defensive at all and been very appreciative of anything I've done for him.
Went to the movies today with the kids. It was nice. It's still odd. H will now look over and smile, etc... but still makes no attempt at any loving gestures - say, holding my hand - like he used to.
I don't know what to make of it. It feels like we are "friends". I don't know whether to take it as a good sign or not. Perhaps it's good and that he can see his way back or perhaps he's just happy that I'm not upset and he doesn't have to feel guilty. Who knows!
At this point I guess I'm still not to initiate R talk. Would love to know where his head is at but maybe it's best not to think on that right now. Hmmm....
