Does the OM work somewhere nearby you? I assume he's single.
If he's local you can go to his workplace and confront him in the open in front of everyone ... Just tell him to stay AWAY from your wife and tell him you know what sleazy stuff he's doing and you won't tolerate it...
When I found the texts and pictures, she said she was "sorry and it wouldn't happen again". Then she continued it for another 2 weeks as I sat and watched with my intel.
CONFRONTING HER AGAIN, really did nothing. She said "her heart was still searching and I had a chance just like ANYONE ELSE, including HIM".
Then I contacted HIM and let him know I knew. THAT WORKED FOR ABOUT 3-4 WEEKS. She kept at him and at him, getting sleazier and more DESPERATE. Finally he contacted her back, and she basically said she would do ANYTHING FOR AND TO HIM. And I mean ANYTHING. You should see the online searches she has done.
I finally EXPOSED him the right way, and we will see how that goes. But I went A-BOMB on him, and released a nuclear weapon.
And now I have the name and email of his CO should he do ANYTHING else.
Me - 32 Her -30 Married - 7 Years Together - 9 Years No Kids 05/21 - Bomb 6/8 - Exposed 7/9 - Re-Exposed 06/11 - She Filed
I agree wholeheartedly - you CANNOT be soft about this if you want to stand a chance! You can't worry about W getting mad. Mad she can get over. Not respecting you because you were afraid, much harder to overcome! You can be both loving and tough... but you have to be willing to let her get mad. She is doing something dead WRONG! Is she worrying about making YOU mad????
Your wife is testing you. SHe's testing your masculinity and your courage.
if you just back down and watch she is NOT going to be impressed. She may laugh and go off to her affair and have fun, but she loses respect for you... And its VERY HARD to win over a female who has no respect for you... I would argue it can't be done at all.
If you stand up, protect your marriage, tell the creep to BACK OFF, and get in thiker wtih MIL and talk about the importance of making mature decisions and show her a responsible adult she will be a LOT more impressed.
She will be mad you took action, but she will respect you for it.
Let me give you a scenario.
You are at the beach with your wife. You are both loving each other having fun. A guy nearby suddenly says something sleazy to your wife.
You hit him and he hits the sand and you both walk away.
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Your wife is giong to be MAD at you for being violent. Most women don't like seeing that. But at the same time she will RESPECT you for protecting her.
If you did NOTHING and ignored him your wife won't be MAD at you no... But she will be thinking in her mind "Some creep just violated me and my husband just sat there and did nothing... That makes me feel pretty vulnerable... And scared... And unloved..."
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You need to learn to protect your family dude. Your wife won't have an ounce of respect for you if you don't.
