Look, I'm not saying I have all the answers. I don't. But most people come here with a little less certainty about what they're doing, and seem genuinely open to learning about what works and what doesn't. You just strike me as a respectful, kind, "thanks, I appreciate it, but I'm gonna keep doing what I'm doing" kind of guy.
And I'm afraid your wife is going to WALK ALL OVER that guy, in her current state.
Supplication, appeasement and "Mr. Nice Guy" doesn't work. It arguably doesn't work in HEALTHY, COMMITTED relationships, but it danged sure doesn't work when there is an affair involved.
Just please read up on these things, and take the advice you get here strongly to heart.
