Sorry, Snodderly, I respect your work here, I really do, but I'm unconvinced.
First of all, you start making your case with the assumption that an emotional affair is somehow less damaging, less deep, or less addictive than a physical affair. Simply NOT TRUE (I'd refer you to read "NOT Just Friends," by Shirley Glass, the definitive book on EAs, if you haven't already read it). Especially for women, the deep emotional connection of an EA is usually harder to break than a PA, and it's HIGHLY addictive. Just ask some of the women who post here regularly (Sandi2 comes to mind) who used to be in EAs, and they'll tell you how addicted they were to the rush of their OM.
Secondly, this:
Quote:
Please keep in mind that the affair of a MLCer is not a true addiction. Why? Because they weren't in affairs pre MLC and many instances, will cease once the crisis is over.
strikes me as a "chicken-and-the-egg" situation. I can just as easily make the case that the physiological things that are happening in a cheater's brain have as much to do with their "identity crisis" as you can the other way around. And if they end their infidelity once their crisis is over, might it be because the addict has been separated from the source of their addiction?
Finally, this:
Quote:
The affair of a MLCer does need to die a natural death. They have to become tired and weary of each other, i.e., removal of the rose colored glasses to see the warts, deception of each other. The more you try to pull them apart, the stronger the determination will be to stay together.
Yes, their determination may be stronger, but the theory is that the MYSTIQUE is gone, and since affairs thrive on secrecy and mystique, you bust that and you're 3/4ths of the way home.
Look, like I said, reasonable people (even infidelity authors) can differ on whether or not affairs are addictions. I'm just saying that if you believe they ARE, then I don't see how it can follow that they will "die their own natural death," since empirically, I see no other evidence of ANY other kind of addiction that does so.
