I am waiting for the moral and spiritual beliefs she has followed her whole life to lead her back to our marriage. That is going to come when her heart softens and she realizes that the infatuation the OM feels is not comparable to the depth of love that our relationship holds.
L4S,
You need to do some studying on the chemical aspects of affairs. Physiologically, your wife's brain is awash with PEAs right now, and she simply WON'T soften on her own. She must first be separated from the source of her addiction (OM) before she'll be receptive to anything you're doing.
I too am a Christian, and believe in the sanctity of marriage and the "for worse" part of the "for better or for worse" that we each spoke in our vows. I prayed for my wife DAILY during her affair three years ago, and I truly believe that God rescued her from its throes.
But He did it thru ME, and the other people in my life, who bravely stood up to her and applied pressure.
I'm sorry, but I think you're being naive. Check out my # of posts -- I've been her six years (counting my prior time as "Chocolateeyes") and have studied literally THOUSANDS of affairs. I've simply never seen the "Little Bo-Peep" approach work. You leave them alone, and they WON'T come home, wagging their tails behind them.
Affairs are ADDICTIONS. Google "PEA brain love lust addiction" and do some research on it. And then try to name for me ONE other type of addiction -- gambling, alcohol, drugs, sexual addiction, ANYTHING -- that dies its own natural death if you leave it alone.
You can't.
In fact, nearly all begin to ESCALATE, as the addict needs a stronger and stronger rush to get their "fix."
I'm very sorry for the loss of your son, by the way, and now that you're having to go thru this. I cannot even imagine.
