Luv, there's nothing you're going through that others here have or are going through. I still have those 'down' days once in a while. And although it's really no consolation knowing this, over time those days get weaker and further apart. I'm sure if you look back you can see this pattern happening.
I went through a short one a few days ago while on vacation. It was weaker and shorter than the last one - barely a small ripple.
Just remember this - the 'whorefriend'(WF) is getting the package you are looking at right now. He's not some improved version, or even close to the version you M. We tend to sit and think the spouse is some magnificent person to their new partners but they are what you are really seeing. No one can be two things at once. That crap you see and feel from him is in him all the time - no matter how hard he tries to cover it up when around the new WF.
MySitch Me-47 STBXW-41 D-5 S-8 ILYBNILWY-01/08 Want a D- 01/09 Physical Sep-01/10 D filed-06/10 Got 50% custody=09/11 Ride that wave!
Just remember this - the 'whorefriend'(WF) is getting the package you are looking at right now. He's not some improved version, or even close to the version you M. We tend to sit and think the spouse is some magnificent person to their new partners but they are what you are really seeing. No one can be two things at once. That crap you see and feel from him is in him all the time - no matter how hard he tries to cover it up when around the new WF.
Pure gold.
Hang tight, you are a strong lady, Luv.
(((Luv)))
M & H: 40 M: 5.5 T: 7.5 OW: 7/09 Bomb: 9/09 Sep: 3/10 H files 7/10
I've had a couple of days of actually feeling ok. I usually feel better if I don't have to hear of him or deal with the attorneys. I have had a nice break...no crying myself to sleep but feeling content. I know it's probably going to be short lived but I'll take it.
We're getting close to tuition time and heavy legal stuff so it will get rough here pretty soon. I'm praying diligently so I hope to report some positive things.
Luv
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
(((Luv))) It's good to hear from you. I'm glad you've had small pockets of (relative) peace. They will increase with time, but it would be nice if that increase happened faster.
I REALLY hope that he can put aside his feelings about the M more to think clearly about the kids and what they need. How is your D doing- did you take her to see an IC?
Sending you peaceful wishes--
A
When the men on the chessboard Get up and tell you where to go; And you've just had some kind of mushroom And your mind is moving slow; Go ask Alice... I think she'll know.
Yeah I hope the peace is not just a temporary feeling. I have not taken D to counseling. There is so much to do and I'm the only one doing it. I used to think it was so hard when the kids were babies but it's so much harder now! My work is never done.
Today is my 23rd anniversary (when started dating) we always celebrated this date every year. What a difference a year makes. Last year he was on a bank closing and it happened to be right next to the wineries that we love so much. I met him up there and we got to spend some short time together. I remember feeling so much love for him - I started to miss him as he was starting to go on more trips away from home.
Well I have a very nice day and evening planned. The kids will go see him today and probably stay the night so I will have some free time to myself. I need it.
Accepting all positive vibes
Last edited by luvless; 07/17/1007:38 PM.
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
Those milestones are going to be so hard for awhile. I'm not looking forward to ours in Sept. How could things change so much in a year? It boggles the mind, but the sad truth (for many of us) may be it wasn't just a year ago that it truly started...
Yikes, I thought some stuff did get easier as they got older. Definitely as a single mom, that multiplies things tenfold or more. Too much work, never enough time. I think about your D b/c I was that teen- very depressed, except nobody noticed. Luckily, I never did anything drastic, but I'm so glad you're involved and keeping an eye on her. It's the last thing you need on top of everything else.
Sending you very good, positive vibes from up north-- enjoy your day and evening!
A
When the men on the chessboard Get up and tell you where to go; And you've just had some kind of mushroom And your mind is moving slow; Go ask Alice... I think she'll know.
