Training for a Marathon, Hoping for a Sprint

[lookin4support]

So, here is my situation and what has happened in the last few weeks. On June 23, my wife of 24 years informed me that she had been involved with OM for approximately six weeks. Prior to that, she had been involved in what I believe was an EA with him for several months. That night she moved from our home into his. She says she still loves me and wants me to be her best friend, but she wants to try to make it work with him. I asked her to go to MC and she refused. I asked her to go to a friend’s place instead of his and she refused. Two days later, I packed all her stuff and was ready to take it to her when I called a Christian MC and talked through my actions with him. He talked me down, which I feel is what I wanted and gave me some ideas. I met her that day and asked her to come home unconditionally. An offer she refused, but she did say she would go to counseling. Our first MC went ok, and the C recommended individual counseling which she refused. Last Thursday, we met again and the C went into attack mode on her and now all C is off for her. I start IC in a week.

During the past two weeks, she has contacted me daily and I have gone to her workplace most days to see her at her request. I have told her I forgive her and she doesn’t understand how or why I would do that. I used the Prodigal Son as the example for my attitude toward what has happened (is happening) in our lives. So now, I am buckling in for what appears to be a long wait on her. I have told her that I am willing to wait days, weeks, months or years, because my love for her is that strong and our M means that much to me. I have to say though, the waiting really is the hardest part. I am reading a couple of Christianity-based books (How to Save Your Marriage Alone and Hope for the Separated) and have ordered DB, so I am educating myself on this process.

The background issue is the death of our 23 year old son in October of last year that we dealt with together and I thought we were doing well. She has said that we share a sadness that she feels a need to escape and she is just trying to find a way to be happy. Any words of encouragement or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. The letter from David in “While Your Spouse Decides” from the DB home page has become daily reading for inspiration as I take this path.