How to tell the kids

[Greek]

Journaling:

D asked if this was W's idea. I told her I didn't want to talk about that, but she kept pressing. I said you already know. She wants me to confirm her suspicions, but she knows. She was also asking about how the furniture will be split-up. Will the new living room tables go with the new furniture? All this stuff is in sets and the new stuff goes together and the old stuff in the basement goes together. I can't believe she is even thinking about these things. I told her we will have to figure it out.

She asked who is keeping the house and I said I didn't know if either of us could afford it on our own. She said she doesn't want to move and would be willing to sell her stuff and give me her money if it would help. I told her that was a very nice offer, but it wouldn't make any difference. Then she volunteered S's $300. I told her we would find a good place to live no matter what. Maybe even a place, smaller, but that would let us fish and swim right from our own dock. She said that would be the only way she would want to move.

She said W told them they could keep the Xbox at my house and the Nintendo Wi at her house, since that is something she might actually play with them.

D said W told her she thought this would be over in 2 months! That must mean she thinks we will be able to agree on everything in mediation and not have to go to trial. I thought this was going to take 6-9 months. Have to get moving on getting a home value to see if I am going to be able to afford to stay or not.

Feeling that she is pretty set on this happening. I don't feel like anything I am doing is bringing her closer. She is going to a Milwaukee Brewers game with her friends from work today. She is out for a walk now. She has plenty to do. She is DBing me!

I really starting to believe that she isn't going to change her mind and that this IS going to happen and that I will not be ready to move on, but she will. My only hope is that once it is done and we are separated, she will reconsider. Either that or I will just have to find the strength in myself to move on without her.

I'm not feeling very good about things this morning. I saw her, but we didn't talk. Kids want me to take them fishing, so I am going to, but I really feel sick to my stomach at this point.

Got to get ready to go fishing. Talk to you later.

I don't like how your "tell the kids" meeting went down. I highlighted in RED the matters that should have been addressed but were not, for your children still have basic questions. Plus, reading back through your other posts, your contribution to that meeting seemed to be "Whatever" and that's all.

When Coach and I told our children, he put me right out there on the spot by myself. I had to tell the children that I was leaving, where I was going, where they would be, that I was divorcing their father and that he did not want it this way. I had to say the truth to my children and Coach was there to call me on anything that was not aligned with the truth of the matter. He made it known to me before hand that there would be none of this "Mom and Dad think this is the best thing right now for the family" or blech anything else like that. It had to be the truth and it had to be from me. When I said it all, he asked our children, "Do you have any questions for me?" and he fielded those questions - truthfully (age appropriately). He was the opposite of "whatever" in his disposition. He looked, sounded strong and in control of himself. In comparison, I looked like the weenie.

I think you need a re-do on that talk - for your children's sake more than anything. It is impossible to eliminate insecurities for kids at a time like this, but minimizing them is attainable.

Clarity.
Greek