So H and I just talked, he was already on the road heading back home. Recapped his time with D and it sounded like it went well. His parents weren't too overbearing aside from his Mom leaving him with numerous books and reading material. Bah!
Then I tried to casually transition into my plans to move back there and get a job, etc. The rest of the conversation was weird and awkward. He said that money is getting tight and that he had already started planning on moving forward with me living with my parents up here and having free child care. When I said I planned to get a job back home, he thought that was useless because the cost of child care would just negate my income. I informed him that I was actually looking at something full time and he didn't really respond to that. I was in accounting so a full time salary should definitely provide something after childcare costs. Back at the beginning of all of this (fall '09) when he told me he lost respect for me when I quit my job to stay home with D, we got to talking about how I thought he really valued having me stay home with her. He said that he would either want me to watch her or our family members. I really felt like he was confused as to why I was getting a job, like I had planned to just live off of him for awhile or something and stay at my parents forever? Ack.
So then he said he can't keep his current place (it was a giant really nice loft...with no furniture in it), and will have to look for something smaller at half the cost (its about time!) And then it was just weird...I really got the feeling that he like didn't want me back there even though D would be with me.
Mixed in with that I did mention that I was sorry for giving him an ultimatum and saying I was done last week. At first he said you don't have to apologize for how you feel, and when I said I don't actually feel like I am done fighting he said so you take back everything from last week (he sounded shocked). I said no, that I was actually very overwhelmed by his travel but that I hadn't reached my limit for now.
I ended it light and open...I have no idea where that leaves us or what is next...
