Doc, I see that you get the difference between boundary setting and trying to control. I think that if I try to tell her who she can't dance with, it's going to do more harm than good. My plan is to limit the amount of time she's out dancing alone, to minimize the potential for trouble.
I know I can't police my way thru a M, but relapse into old pattens is still likely while we're in the Piecing phase. My mistake in the past was giving her too much freedom to be in the dance community alone. Temptation can work it's magic on any of us. The truth is I used her dancing as a babysitter to give myself some free time, when I needed to push myself and be there with her. I now think more in terms of being a couple.
Last night my W wanted to go to the dance venue to say goodbye to the OP. I decided to go with the idea of intervening if he attempted to lure her to his place. She wanted to drive separately, which was curious.
I went and had a nice time. I let them dance together quite often. I made sure to dance several times with my W. They looked more like a couple than we did. I was cordial to him, and wished him good luck. I stayed very late, until she decided it was time to go. The OP went home. My W verified that she was going home. She did come home.
When she came to bed, I put my arm around her. She took it off. I'll try again another night.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
