Went back and caught up on your sitch and it's somewhat similar to mine. We were married 20 years and my "independence" and "confidence" were what XH said attracted him to me in the first place. Then, as life went on and he started traveling more and I built more of a separate life, it's what destroyed us (according to him).
Bullhocky I say! XH used that as an excuse for having an affair and making so many stupid choices in the past year that I've lost count.
Let your emotions hit and feel them. Each time you do the pain will be a little less. It takes time, lots of time. In some ways you and I are lucky in that we don't have children and we don't have to see XH to have that constant reminder of 'what if.' I truly believe it speeds things up. Do you have a support group? I took a "rebuilding" class for 10 weeks and have the most amazing friends who know what all this feels like; it helps, truly it's the one thing I am so glad I did. If you can't find a class, read the book "Rebuilding When Your Relationship Ends" by Dr. Bruce Fischer. It will help tremendously. Also, what about joining some meetup.com groups? Maybe you aren't quite ready, but when you are...they're out there to find some new social interests.
NO to dating right now is where I am and I'm certain you are as well. Take this time for you; you deserve it.
Hang in there!
Last edited by Golfgirl1; 07/10/1002:06 PM.
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
