Making progress and reconnecting.....ayieee

[CPCajun]

I'll go into detail, I was brief with my post as I was going to spend time with S and W watching a movie.




It wasn't a just like that. She was pretty argumentative at first. I let go of the rope, and poof. She couldn't fight any more. I just listened.

Next,I talked to her about setting up boundaries. I let her go first. Since, I used to be so controlling with the fiances, this was the first boundary she wanted to set. She asked if I did not balance the quicken. I usually screw it up, which causes more work to go bank and fix. She asked that she does the finances, and we could double check it together to verify the accuracy.
I agreed.
She also wanted me to be more upfront about things. Reason being, I have been following Sandi's advice and SHE is worried that I have been hiding something...or someone. I assured her she is the only woman in my life since the day we met. Which led to....
Me setting up a boundary for her. I said that before anything gets out of hand, I like to talk about the A. I want to be your man in your life, the husband you want me to be and I want to be. I cannot do this and I do not feel safe in the marriage if OM is involved. She said she understood and what do you want me to do. I asked if she could separate herself from OM. I said, I know he is on FB(I didn't say her he was her friend, not giving away what I knew). I did see him on your yahoo chat messenger, when you checked your mail the other day, and of course I know he is on your phone. She said OK, I will block him on FB, which she did. She went on Yahoo and blocked and deleted him from her account. On her PC and on the phone.(Yes there is an app for that.)She then blocked him on the phone. She went the extra step, without me asking and removed the pass code, if I wanted to check it.
Since the A bust Thursday, I noticed on the router logs, and ATT call logs, that she had not got in touch with OM. I did look thru her phone, which she no objection with,as one of the girls at work said that there are text apps that you can use that keep the messages untraceable. She did not have such programs.

We then spent some time looking on her computer at various things and talked for a bit before watching Avatar with our son.

Yes, I just saw Avatar. Going to the movies(or watching them) is not my thing. I usually fall asleep.... and this movie was long.


Her kung-fu maybe strong, mine is stronger. When I spoke to MIL Thursday, she told me my wife has long missed the affection that I stopped giving her. I see it, this is what she wants and needs. As long as I keep up the Kung Fu(the love and affection to her) and do not backslide in my ways, I do not see her going to OM. I am now there for her, the void has been filled.

I will give her the benefit of the doubt,for now. I have not let down my guard, as she hasn't let down hers. I still have my measures in place and will check up from time to time.

She did last night let me stay in the house to snuggle and stay in bed with her. She did say she is still cautious, and wants to take this day by day. I said I completely understand. I can still go to the apartment if you really want me to. I do not want you to feel pressured, but she objected and said, no you can stay. This is one of my short term goals, to snuggle and sleep in bed. The pain in my stomach subsided and I was at peace. This was nice.