I am having a better day today. I don't think I would ever hurt someone physically. I just need to get the last little glimmer of hope out of my head. Which I think that i am close to doing. After that, I can truely start to heal. But, this morning seems to be better then yesterday. I don't feel so sad. Not happy and joyful but not that bad. The date last night helped. Self esteem takes along time to achieve. My ex always said that i tore her self esteem down. I was not trying to. Hey, i want to be loved again. I know that it is to early to find someone. I am really not looking. Just trying to keep my mind busy and my activities going. Being with another women makes me feel better, so why not. It is just talking and having a good time. Heck, my ex is married, my self esteem is not going to go up because I start liking myself one day. It will go up when i forget about my R and move on. I will remember things that happened that I did wrong and not repeat my same mistakes. My ex was not good. The r was unhealthy. She was not healthy, niether was I. I don't want to bring someone else down. But i do crave some company right now from a female. I am not haveing sex. I could have last night. She wanted to stay the night but i didn't.
