Does anyone ever have the out of body experience of being blamed for everything, including your spouse having to leave you (huh?), blamed of things you haven't even done-- YET-- but are likely to do, knowing your "character", etc? Treated like a leper in their own house despite having maintained a pretty good, friendly attitude? Again, I'm self- aware enough to know this is their anger turned outward, justifying their actions that have no good reason behind them, so one has to be made up, but... Sometimes it's just hard, you know?
Hey NB -
When you think back to the good times - the knowing glances, the finishing each other's sentences, the cuddles in bed - it just doesn't compute that the person you knew SO WELL then...is suddenly a complete stranger NOW.
You could tell at a glance when they were stressed or not feeling well. Now you have no idea what's going on. You used to know what brand of mayo or toilet tissue they preferred. Now you don't know anything.
It's the complete non-sequitur; someone you thought you knew as well as yourself is suddenly MIA. The same body and face is walking around, but the person within in a complete unknown.
THAT's the hardest part.
As I told IC, I want MY husband back - not the OW marionette that's walking around my house these days. Thinking of him now as HER creation - a puppet being jerked around at her whim - makes it much, much easier to detach...
