I heard back from the one officer, and the CO definitely got the email, and now I have his full email and contact info. I can correspond with him and give him anything he wants.
Believe me, I have enough to make your head spin. I actually told him that directly in an email, but didn't hear back. So I guess Monday I should hear something.
You know, getting the papers today didn't really bother me. When she got home from work, I didn't say a word. I just ignored her. I kind of have no desire to interact with her right now at all.
There have been more than a few women that have expressed interest in me and been flirty. It felt really good to feel desirable. As much as I wish I could save my marriage, I am realizing that she's just done so much to me that it would take so long to rebuild.
I guess you have to love the addict very toughly.
Me - 32 Her -30 Married - 7 Years Together - 9 Years No Kids 05/21 - Bomb 6/8 - Exposed 7/9 - Re-Exposed 06/11 - She Filed
Oh I am. I feel sooooooooooooooooo good that I got the balls to message his CO. And I had an EXCELLENT counseling session today. My IC almost didn't recognize me.
Whether or not any ACTUAL discipline comes of it, he will KNOW that when he calls down the Thunder that I will make it rain.
I am starting to look at my wife in a more pathetic light now. Not out of anger, but from a TOUGH love perspective. It makes it so much easier to detach. She is acting like a 2$ cheap trick, and letting him treat her that way. It is really kind of sad, but again, she is making her own bed.
Me - 32 Her -30 Married - 7 Years Together - 9 Years No Kids 05/21 - Bomb 6/8 - Exposed 7/9 - Re-Exposed 06/11 - She Filed
It's interesting QS... When you feel like you have the upper hand you appear to have this in the bag, but when your wife appears to have the upper hand you fall apart...
The ONLY way I have seen to effectively fight for a marriage is to be in mindset where you fight because you want the marriage, not because you need it.
When you have the upper hand like this you are in the want mindset... you have to keep it there.
Your marriage can go either way right now.. and YOU need to be OK with that...
If you get to a point where you can say, it could go either way for me and I am OK with it going either way... I am fighting because that's what I want, not because I am terrified of the alternative.
QS, if there is a divorce, you look at the direction you are headed right now and the direction your wife is headed... who do you think has the upper hand long term?
Do you really think your wife is the one who is going to live a good long healthy life with her attitudes?
Your wife is pursuing a sleaze ball who is going to drop her like a stone at the first chance he gets, your wife is completely ignorant about commitment, marriage, and even how to show the slightest respect to her partner in a crisis, and when things get diffiucult she throws gasoline on her house when it sets ablaze instead of putting the crisis out.
You are learning to love inconditionally. You have maintained respect not only for your family and friends but her family as well. You have a home you are improving and enjoy, you have women who would gladly trade places with your wife when you are in a place where you are ready for that...
You have the upper hand QS, you always did, and as long as you stand up for yourself while doing everything you can to preserve your wife's dignity in the process you will always have the upper hand...
I heard back from the one officer, and the CO definitely got the email, and now I have his full email and contact info. I can correspond with him and give him anything he wants.
Believe me, I have enough to make your head spin. I actually told him that directly in an email, but didn't hear back. So I guess Monday I should hear something.
You know, getting the papers today didn't really bother me. When she got home from work, I didn't say a word. I just ignored her. I kind of have no desire to interact with her right now at all.
There have been more than a few women that have expressed interest in me and been flirty. It felt really good to feel desirable. As much as I wish I could save my marriage, I am realizing that she's just done so much to me that it would take so long to rebuild.
I guess you have to love the addict very toughly.
Keep building up your desireability kharma. It will help you if you want your wife back. What you don't want her to see is a shell of your former self.
It's interesting QS... When you feel like you have the upper hand you appear to have this in the bag, but when your wife appears to have the upper hand you fall apart...
The ONLY way I have seen to effectively fight for a marriage is to be in mindset where you fight because you want the marriage, not because you need it.
When you have the upper hand like this you are in the want mindset... you have to keep it there.
Your marriage can go either way right now.. and YOU need to be OK with that...
If you get to a point where you can say, it could go either way for me and I am OK with it going either way... I am fighting because that's what I want, not because I am terrified of the alternative.
QS, if there is a divorce, you look at the direction you are headed right now and the direction your wife is headed... who do you think has the upper hand long term?
Do you really think your wife is the one who is going to live a good long healthy life with her attitudes?
Your wife is pursuing a sleaze ball who is going to drop her like a stone at the first chance he gets, your wife is completely ignorant about commitment, marriage, and even how to show the slightest respect to her partner in a crisis, and when things get diffiucult she throws gasoline on her house when it sets ablaze instead of putting the crisis out.
You are learning to love inconditionally. You have maintained respect not only for your family and friends but her family as well. You have a home you are improving and enjoy, you have women who would gladly trade places with your wife when you are in a place where you are ready for that...
You have the upper hand QS, you always did, and as long as you stand up for yourself while doing everything you can to preserve your wife's dignity in the process you will always have the upper hand...
Remember that the next time she rages at you...
THIS is a VERY good post that A LOT of people need to read!!!!
