It's interesting QS... When you feel like you have the upper hand you appear to have this in the bag, but when your wife appears to have the upper hand you fall apart...
The ONLY way I have seen to effectively fight for a marriage is to be in mindset where you fight because you want the marriage, not because you need it.
When you have the upper hand like this you are in the want mindset... you have to keep it there.
Your marriage can go either way right now.. and YOU need to be OK with that...
If you get to a point where you can say, it could go either way for me and I am OK with it going either way... I am fighting because that's what I want, not because I am terrified of the alternative.
QS, if there is a divorce, you look at the direction you are headed right now and the direction your wife is headed... who do you think has the upper hand long term?
Do you really think your wife is the one who is going to live a good long healthy life with her attitudes?
Your wife is pursuing a sleaze ball who is going to drop her like a stone at the first chance he gets, your wife is completely ignorant about commitment, marriage, and even how to show the slightest respect to her partner in a crisis, and when things get diffiucult she throws gasoline on her house when it sets ablaze instead of putting the crisis out.
You are learning to love inconditionally. You have maintained respect not only for your family and friends but her family as well. You have a home you are improving and enjoy, you have women who would gladly trade places with your wife when you are in a place where you are ready for that...
You have the upper hand QS, you always did, and as long as you stand up for yourself while doing everything you can to preserve your wife's dignity in the process you will always have the upper hand...
