I need advice. Since I have been served, do I still stay in the house? The wife called to ask me when I was leaving and I said "I'm not - the restraining order does not require me to leave". She seem shocked and said she didn't feel comfortable staying here with me here and that we need to do what is best for the kids. I told her I am not going anywhere. She refuses to bring the kids home until I leave. I am meeting with an attorney first thing Monday morning but am not sure what to do. For the kids sake, would it be best for me to leave since I am already getting divorced anyway?
Please advise
Guess what, you're feeling FEAR. It's ok, just recognize that this is fear and it's going to make you think a lot of different things.
Yes you stay in the home. I said that already.
Listen to what I said before, I included in the post previous to this.
Remember she said that she wanted to file for separation to inspire positive feelings about her marriage with you?
Now she is saying that she didn't feel "comfortable" staying there with you.
Interesting, how did filing for separation to inspire positivity change to not feeling comfortable with you living in your own home?
She isn't making sense. Expect a lot of this.
She is responding emotionally and you can't respond logically to her, there is no use, she won't understand it, she's in love with her feelings right now and her feelings currently are against you right now.
You stay in your home.
She has no right to keep your kids away from you.
As far as I'm concerned, she hasn't filed for full custody, there is no custody agreement in place. Until thats in place, they live at their home, if she chooses to live there, she can but you are living there and since she made this decision to separate from you and file for separation, allow her the freedom to separate from you. Tell her "if this is what you want so badly, you can have it, separate from me but know this, you will not take the children away from me, I won't be a weekend dad, I will file for joint custody when the time comes and I'll document the fact that you are keeping the kids away from me right now and you can let your lawyer know that you are doing this right now too. When you need help packing your things and moving to your new home or apartment, let me know and I will help. I'm not sure I want to be married to you anymore, I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me, I know that much and I think separation is the right thing to do but since you wanted this, you are going to have to be the one to leave - it just makes sense, I didn't ask for this so it doesn't make sense for me to leave, I'll give you a few weeks to find a place, there is no rush and I won't try to stop you either, you are free to go. One thing I will, we need to speak to the kids to let them know that this is happening. "
That's all you need to say, keep it short & sweet, no arguing, no relationship talk, you have to say it like you mean it, she wants her freedom from you, you won't stand in her way, she can leave and you will help her leave if she needs it.
Did she file for legal separation or did she file a restraining order? I'm confused, the two are not the same.
What were the grounds for the restraining order? Physical abuse?
What does the restraining order say?
Since you asked, For the kids sake, the best place for you to be is at home with them, never forget this, this is something I went through myself and I moved out originally because my wife told me to and I did it, hoping it would change her mind about me, it didn't, it never does. I was told by good friends, one of them who worked in legal aid at the time, to move back home, to show that I wanted to be there, that I wanted to be in their lives, that I wouldn't settle for visitation rights, that I would be an active parent, that I wanted joint custody of my children.
I have joint custody of my children. My wife wants to come back BADLY and she pursues me now and doesn't even try to hide it and I'm still not sure I want her back and I'm not worried about possibly losing her.
